it's the sixth sense

it's all about the sixth sense . oh please ! seriously , don't you even remember or know that girls have this thing that really benefits us so so much in our life ? so just trust me , i know somethings wrong

you just make my day

there's just so many reason why i'm falling for you . all those little things . i don't need a very obvious act of your's that will make me fall for you . just those small things . they're much enough for me . i'm easily cheered up . that of course apply to all my moods . i can be slow , i can be mean and demanding . you accpet them all . you use your way to care and love me . you change only when it's the priority thing that's important for our relationship . i just love the way you are . you're just such a sweetheart . though there are times where you can get on my nerves . and all the bad times we been through . and god knows how a girl is able to take it all and survive through . i'm glad i didn't make the choice in leaving you . well , now , what can i say ? i can't bear to leave you . i love you (:

I'm fat

lately , when start to get upset , i would start to eat . it's like i'm a muchin' monster . i bet i'm getting fatter already . hope no one really notice that . heheheheh ..

urge .. sore throat . not super pain but just that the sore feeling makes me able to predict that i'm gonna have a hard time for the next few days . baobei is having a bad sore throat too . cause he " geh kiang " . act pro , don't want lose face , keep shouting during his bmt . a bit heart pain . hahahahs . but somehow also think he deserve it , keep shouting !! hahahahs .

okay , don't know what to say . i really miss him a lot

turns out

i feel like , i'm falling for you more than i've expected . and it's really frightening me . i've gave everything and anything to love . but what i had in return was a heart full of pain . i told myself not to fall in love more than the guy does . but it seems like it's going to happen . everytime you're away from me , instead of loving you lesser , the feelings for you just grows and grows . guess that's distance makes the love fonder ? but the times we have , to be away from each other , is just so easy to get . my feelings for you are growing , is yours ? if yours too are growing , then i guess i'm fine with me loving you more . but instead your feelings for me are decreasing , then i don't see the reason why i should let myself sink in more .

i'm selfish . i'm just afraid i'll get hurt again

pray

i want to pray that what i had happened to me before would not happen again .

i want to pray that history wouldn't repeat .

i want to pray that things would only be better .

i want to pray that the choice i've made wouldn't turn out to make me regret .

i want to pray that i would have happy endings .

i want to pray that what i have would last .

i want to pray that you'll be here forever more .

i want to pray that .. what i've prayed would come true .

you're just that important to me .

IMY badly ..

Including 8 dec , it's the 5th day already . And everyday , I'm wondering , what am i suppose to do while you're away . And for once , i feel that going out while you're away is such a boring thing . I mean I'm always going out . When you're around , I'll be out a lot . Now that you're away , I don't even have the mood to go out . But if i don't go out , I'll feel very weird . So , that feeling is really really very uncomfortable . Nothing just seem smooth or nice to me these few days . Come back soon .. Urge ...

True true (:

what i need

come away with me

insonmia

sigh ...

Currently , I'm trying to figure out what am i going to do to occupy myself while you're away :/ Life's just much more boring and lonely without you ): I've been downloading songs to keep myself occupy . Well , it helps me to spend a few hours . Today went out with Michelle girlfy . There, i spent a few hours too . Still , 24hours just seems too long for me . It's only the 2nd day . It's not like you could come back in advance . Guess I'll just have to find some ways then . See ? Get what i mean when i say I'm too dependent on you already ? :/

heartache

you know it's kind of heartbreaking when someone you love keeps trying to send you away . as in the feeling of it . i mean , seriously . i do know clearly that i have curfew and the parents i have . i know that clearer than anyone alright ? but there's no need to try and do things like keep asking me to go home before my mom starts to nag and so on .

i know you're afraid that my mom will see us together somewhere , anywhere in singapore . i know , and thanks for being so sweet in thinking for me . but seriously , if i , or the both of us , have to keep thinking of the places we go , example places near my house , that my family would see me , then wouldn't it be that the both of us would be always frantic ? and the worst thing is that , you think more than me . you're even more afraid to be caught or seen than me . and i know what are my limits . so stop asking my to go home early . i hate it when someone keeps asking me to go home . seriously , i will go home , so don't tell me to .

it's kind of normal for you to keep asking me to go home . but today , is really really the day where i really hate it when you ask me to go home . 1 plus , i saw you . 6 plus i have to go . and it's not like i don't have the time this time . it's you who can't spend time with me . and the feeling really sucks . and the worst part is , you're going to be away from today , few more hours , and a duration of 2 weeks . how can i not miss you ? and i'm dumb enough to even forget to take a picture of the both of us together . but i guess it's not a bad idea either . at the least i wouldn't think so much . the thing is , today , last day of spending my time with you . and yet , you're trying to push me away because you're going to meet your brothers . seriously ? and you expect me to not be sad ? the hug and kiss from you before i went home , feels like it's goodbye . i know it's 2 weeks only . but it just feel so ..

maybe it's just me ..

2 more days

in just 2 days time , you're gonna go for your ns . okay , i sound like i'm making a fuss out of it . and you'll be coming out in 2 weeks time . but why is it that i just feel so lost ? it's as if you'll be away for a month or so . and worst , i've the urge to cry .

i'll really miss you a lot , and i do hope you'll realise how much that would be . so please be safe with whatever you're gonna be doing in there . i mean i don't know what the fuck is in there anyway . so please be careful alright ? :/

seriously , feel damn lost now . ahh ..

why

i don't know . i thought i didn't love you enough . but just when the thought that you're going in ns soon , just 7 days away , i cried . i'm afraid something would happen . i'm afraid things would change . i'm scared that you wouldn't be by my side when you're away . i'm afraid you would get hurt . i don't know . i'm just afraid that i'll miss you too much . but i don't know why that would lead me to crying this bad .

sorry

I know there are stuffs i do that is really unbearable . But i hope you'll understand baobei . I really can't be those kind of girls who just because they have a boyf , they neglect their guy friends . I mean like i told you before , i know more guys than girls . I mix better with guys than girls . Okay , to me , I've nothing to hide . I mean it's not like I have a guy behind your back or something . And i don't need a second guy or even more . One is enough , and that's you . So trust me okay ?

hug

If I'm upset , angry or even happy , you don't have to say a word . Just a hug from you , baobei , it's more than enough to me . Cause to me , a hug speaks a thousand words

promise

I can't promise to be with you forever more . But i can promise , before we ever part , I'll be there for you , always .

I will

bullshit

really ?

it's just me

sometimes i feel sorry towards boyf . i mean just because of what happened previously in my past relationship , i'm getting really realistic . i couldn't trust and believe him totally . i couldn't treat him like how i actually could . sometimes i'm just really fucked up about it . i mean , if i did , would the same thing happen again ? i can't afford that . well , mr boyf ain't really treating me bad . starting yes , but now , i don't know what else to complain about . maybe there is , but those are not the things that i would complain about . but yet , i kept comparing him with others . i don't need a handsome , cute , hot , rich , good looking , perfect or whatsoever guy . i'm okay with what boyf is now . then why isit that he can't help me in erasing those memories . and worst thing is that , boyf makes me remind of him . not good at all . i do love boyf . he's not a subsitute of someone . but i can't help but keep thinking that i'm actually making use of him . urge ! i'm sorry if i had made you think this way , well you didn't say you did , but if i made you feel this way , i'm sorry baobei ): what's with me ?

bored :/

waiting for 3pm :/ seriously . i should have left home 1 hr later . didn't expect me to be so early . i mean i'm like 1hr early , though there's this saying " being early is better than late " but i think i'm way off early -.- and there's this friend who i met at work quit the job ): luckily have serene's cousin - joey ((: yay ! thought i would be alone today . now i'm sitting patheticly at some staircase . heheheh . okay , i'm really bored ):

can't help it

when i thought i've been hurt enough , one love came and healed it . when i thought i've been healed completely , that love went away , for no reason . and the worst part is , this love , hurts more than the previous one .

just when i thought i can put in all i have , the reciever gave me a slap and i snapped to reality . things isn't as perfect as i think it would . just when i thought i was steadily balanced on this relationship , the captain of my heart flip the boat upside down , causing me to drown .

i thought i could heal , i thought i could smile . i thought i could forget , i thought i could forgive . i thought i could be better , i thought i could be happier . i thought i could .. but i couldn't . i can't . and , i got no idea why .

every breath i couldn't catch , every tear that i couldn't hold back , every pain i couldn't ignore , every memories i couldn't throw aside , everything i couldn't do just because of you , the only thing i'm sorry about , is i'm sorry i couldn't defend myself , i didn't protect myself .

Cute

D:

when is my hair gonna start growing that long D:

Aww ..

this is what i call " I love you WHOLE-LY ! "

sometimes

Sometimes , I hate good memories . They're the ones holding me back , leaving even more scars

bless

I hope she's better ..

breathless

those breath i can't catch , those tears i couldn't hold back ...

debt

All that you've given me , I thank you for that . And those debt I owe you , I hope I've returned all to you . So make my life easier , try and not be within my sight . It's better for the both of us

Top Numbers

3 types of languages i hear : Chinese , English and Korea . And here's my top favorite singers :D

Her name's A-Mei . Very obvious . She's a Chinese singer . The reason she's my favorite Chinese singer is because I've grown up listening to her songs . And her songs , mostly , never fails to make me feel touched . I means , her voice is just so sincere .

Well this , as long as you know Kpop , the 5 boys are from SHINee . They're currently my favorite Kpop stars . Of course there's others . But they're one of my faves ! They're songs are so cute . And yes , they're cute too . The guy in the middle , kim jonghyun , is my favorite memeber . His voice is OMG ! One of the songs he sing - So goodbye , OST of City hunter , is fantabulous !

Last of not least , Avril Lavigne . My favourite English pop star . This punk girl created history in my life . Her song - Happy Ending , is my favorite song of all time . So many songs of hers like " When you're gone " , " Innocence " , " Smile " , " Girlfriend " , omg , how can you not hear any of this songs of hers ?

Yeap , so these are my fave singers of all time . I don't know what can i do without their music D:

URGE

where are you ? the last letter i got , was like the starting of the year . Can't blame me for treating you like an older brother . within a month , i know stuff about you . How can i not worry for a friend that i care a lot ? i don't know how to contact you too . I remembered i tried asking yunkai if there's any news of you . But he said no . i heard from people that you've been taken to boys home . Well , i hope that's not the case . you were leaving . Since you're leaving why left so much words and thinking to me ? Well , then i wouldn't even really bother about you isn't it ? i mark you as a nice person , a good friend . And i really do hope to see you soon . But when ? How long ? I don't want to ask anyone anymore about your stuff . No idea why . I'm just confuse . I do have the urge to go to the boys home and take a look if you're there . Well , your fb states that you've accpeted someone as your friend on early October . That's weird . You accept someone's friend request , but you don't post any status . What's this ? Urge ! It's really fustrating me ! D:

Makeup

the art of painting the face - which is , make up , was found to be as long as since 3500 BC . To me , ever since i got hooked up on cosmetics , i can't go out without putting any makeup . Even if it means to be putting on only foundation . Well , i guess i can only say that I'm a low self-esteem person . Cosmetic makeup has been a really important task in my life . And it really makes me learn so much things . It really does change people . There are shows showing people how the girls are able to put on makeup . And the main point of that show was to show the high differences of the girls before and after of their makeup . Some people then may say that , girls nowadays put on makeup to cheat guys . Well , to me , my comment is , even if it's cheat , doesn't this prove that , the guys successfully got cheated , goes for looks ? Some says that without makeup , girls looks more beautiful . But do you know that , highly percentage of girls who puts on makeup , feel and think that , they have more confident in facing their everyday life . Well an example :

A girl who have blemishes and red tones , making her face look so dirty . And that dark eye circle , wonder how long have she not slept ? Having to face clients everyday , as a client , would you want to see her ? I doubt so . This is why humans are visual animals . Visually from what you see as i described , she don't look so not professional isn't it ? But what if she's someone with bright eyes full of spirit , radiant face looking like she's ready to face the day that's coming ahead , wouldn't she helps brighten your day too ?

Make up so make lots of differences . To me , it's a art . And it's really more than meets the eye . It really more and wider than you can imagine . Well , obviously , I'm one of the people who was surprised :D

money

Alright , i really need to go and work soon . Well , not like money would just come in my hands randomly freely isn't it . I've no more bag for me to bring out . All the bag is either , buckle came off or sling came off D: it happens to almost all my bag . Next , my wallet . My wallet , latest favorite green wallet , the attatcher or buckle or whatever it is called , it came off ! Now my wallet can't be closed ! D: Well , it still can be used though , just that i'll have to out all paper stuff in the zip part . Which means , actually my bag and wallet still can be used . Just that i don't want . But i do think buying a new one would be better . Still , I have to wait till i get my pay :/ Hmm .. no choice D:

manicure

went for express manicure today . Yeap , this was the colour i chose . Cost me $7.80 . The reason why i didn't do it myself :

1. LAZY

2. I paint my nails , freaking ugly-ly

3. Just want to do something to pamper myself

It isn't that bad actually . Think i'll try it soon again :D

wish

just a few mins ago , the call and text from you , is just how i wish our relationship would be . i now it doesn't happen everytime . thus , i'm cherishing this moment . it really marks my day . though it's not like everytime you're this way , still isn't that what's make me even more specially happy ? i'm a greedy person . i wish , for the days as long as i'm with you , we'll be this way , always . you're actually like a small kid . you need to be pampered , taken care of , consoled , guarenteed . but sadly , opposite , i don't like to take care of kids , i don't know how to pamper , take care , console , guarentee someone . but sometimes , i get a chance to take care you this big kid , i'm actually quite glad . and it's actually sweet of you to actually call and say . see ? that's what i need ! you to tell me what you're really thinking ! just say it , i need to hear it . so carry on this way okay ? and i love you too (:

bad girls

i don't know to say whether it's me or what . But for some reason , i've always been looking around who's good who's bad . Especially towards girls . Well , true enough and easily identified , i'm not good anyway . I just like to talk about people . You do know girls love to gossip don't you ? (: Saw some friends having new relationship , congrats , last long and stay happy (: and at the same time , just like i've said . I was identifying the girls . There's one particular one . Sorry , base on own thinking and comment , you're not good to me . One after another boyf , is what i saw of you . I don't know how exactly you care , more like i don't care . Still , please be to the guy you're with now . He's a nice guy . And as far as i know , he's hurt , twice in a row . Anyway , goodluck to all couples out there . Stay loving <3

manicure

LOVE THIS

strawberry maniac

STRAWBERRIES ! I love strawberries ! whether it's the fruit itself , drinks , snacks , cake or tarts , i love strawberries !!