I think I've figured out why am i so persistent about this relationship . I do love T , truly . And i don't want break up with him . I've realised that , i really don't want to go through a second time of what i had with the A . I loved A with everything , and till now , though i don't regret , but i really don't wish for the same bad thing to happen again . At the least not the parents part . I don't want any of my parents or T's parents to come in between us . Even if it means to be a good thing , no , i don't want . It's just too much to handle . I'm afraid that i'll be thrown aside again . I'm afraid what I've done would go to waste again . I'm afraid that everything would just have to end . I want a good relationship more than anyone else .