wth

okay , ignore the background of the photo . one thing from this photo to see is my hair colour . my hair have been known to be super black to many people . cause to other people , their hair may be black . but under sunlight it'll be brownish isn't it ? and when it gets wet , it'll only just turn out to be black right ? mine is totally , i got no idea what to say . when it's under sunlight , it's totally black and gets hot very quickly . and when it gets wet , it turns out so black it looks purple-lish . as i always sing to my hair " you're just too black to be true €" . one thing is that , i've always said that my hair colour is inherited from my grandmother ( mom's mom ) . cause till now , she's 70 plus near 80 , she only have grey and white hair . i swear she didn't dye her hair at all . and that's how i found out why my hair is so black . i guess it's a good thing though . and i've always rejected to dye my hair , because it's somewhat a gift from grandma . but for some reason , i dyes my hair today . and i even chose a golden copper blonde colour . it's so much lighter than my hair colour . at first , i was still worried that my hair would turn out to be a very disgusting colour . i guess all my worries were a waste . because , the dye , has no effect on my hair :/ my hair still have the same colour . only under light , it's reddish brown . wth ! i don't know to say i feel conned by the hair dye or my hair is to powerful . seriously ? my god . i think i need to get white dyes already -.- and yuxin told me , i need those colour of a golden retriever . i somewhat actually agreed with her . hahahs ! so anyway , anyone who knows of any light colour hair dye , please intro to me alright ? tell me including the brand , colour and if possible , the price of it too , thanks (:

# Leo fact 6

confident leo will replace every " what if " in their life with a big " why the fuck not ?! "

so long

it's been quite long that we've texted . i mean we do text . but that msg is like , ohmygoodness- little . baobei , are you really that busy this few days ? ): felt so neglected ):

date with dad

I've been out with dad and sis for the past 2 days . Mom have some course lesson at redhill . So , dad have been accompanying us . He brought us out the whole day . I love my dad ^^

work work work

Been trial working today and it kinda suck . Seriously , 4 hours , standing there . Sold only one 23.90 pants . And got only 16 bucks for 4 hours of trial working . WHAT ? You kidding me D: UH .. Nevermind . Guess that's how part time job lives are . Anyone has better jobs to intro , please contact me !! Thanks a million ! :D

FINALLY

Okay , i've finally got my photos from yuxin . kind of having problems in trying to collide them together :/ hmm ..

I get it

Okay , I know you dislike the idea that I have to go to work . But , this is what I really want to do .
1. i need money to buy the things i want

2. i need money to do the things i like

3. i need money so not to be too independent on my parents

4. i need money so that i can go out

5. i've nothing to do at home during the holidays

6. i want to gain experience so that in the future i'll be able to get jobs easier

so why not just let me , just work . i mean , the fact that you're always spending money is really obvious . and the fact that you always have no money , is pretty obvious either . you can't even support your ownself baby . how do you expect me to depend on you to support me ? and your only reason is you're afraid guys would come and find me . baby , are you really that afraid ? maybe it's the guy thing . okay , i can understand . but if you're really good enough to me , why would you be afraid that i would go to other guys ? can't you just make more effort to make me think that you're worth the while for me to give up better guys ( if there is ) ? and you're saying you trust me . you're not showing any . i'm really trying hard to earn your trust . but could you try and earn some trust from me , instead of thinking that i would give it to you ? baby , think about it . not everything is just because you're the guy and i'm the girl . it's not this way anymore . guys work , girls work too . it doesn't always have to be the guy . lay down your pride for a little . it's really not as bad as you think . and i'm really not the girl that will runaway from the boyf . that's the thing that i can assure you .

now you know

my dear , do you ever have an idea why i don't say yes to all your sayings of what marry you ? here are reasons :

1. i'm only 16 , baobei

2. i've never believed in marriage

3. you don't love me enough

4. you can't give me the happiness that will last me for the rest of my life

5. you can't even support yourself

6. you break promises

7. you don't take seriousness in me

8. you don't even take seriousness in your own life

9. the love i want and need , you can't give

10. you're not even prepared

so you sure ? dont just say that i'm not prepared yet . you , you're ain't prepared yet either .

meet my boyf :D

hi everyone ! you guys must be wondering who is he . just like the title , he's my boyf , quite cute isn't it ? though he's become horizontally challenged when compared to this photo , still , nothing much really changed (: it's just kind of random . hehhes .

- love you baby €€

Introduction

well , cause not everybody knows about me . i mean they just judge me for my appearance and some actions . and that's not really nice or a good news to me . so , i decided to make a introduction of myself ? so let's start (:

name : xiaoyu , chee

a.k.a : fish ?

age : sweet sweet 16

birthday : 16 august

currently : studying in a undesireable school - commonwealth sec , in class 4n

other sites : @facebook - xiaoyu thtfifthmay / @twitter - fuckthoselies

status : happily attached with ting ming hao , fifth month and on going (:

hobby : watching tv , sleeping the whole day , listening to music , watching movie , hanging out with friends , watching makeup videos , watching shows on funshion , blogging , tweeting .

likes : photography - weheartit / tumblr photos , horoscopes - especially leo , kpop , makeups

dislike : some very annoying teachers in school , cho peiyu , female surname by teng at the fourth floor , anyone who have problems with my beloved ones for no particular reason , backstabbers , big mouths , attention seekers

more details : now , i'm straight foward and easy going . i do what i like and happy with . i can be nice , but if you want to irritate me or do something funny to me , then sorry . you might want to piss off before i make you roll out of my sight . i may look fierce or angry . but actually i may be just staring in to space or just giving you a really " i am bored " face . so , don't be fooled by my looks . it's really more than you think .

motto : do what i like and happy with , never regret or go against own principle . as long as your concious is clear , you really don' have to be sorry about your life

yeap , so almost like this . a overall introduction of myself . so hope , this will make you guys understand me more (:

I just wish ..

frankly , for a moment i feel so distance from you . and when i think closely and clearly about us . seriously , i can't help but admit that , we're nothing . there's really nothing between us . i mean , okay , let's just say how much i understand you alright ? mm .. i only know you like cheese . and you never fail to order nachos with cheese during movie time . as in the food you like , that's the only thing i know . and that you're always working . just to have more money to spend . then .. nothing else . i don't know what colour you like . i don't know what's your favourite hobby . pratically , i don't know so much stuffs about you . and we're together for 5 months plus . almost enough time for me to know more than these about you , isn't it ? i just wish i'll know more about you .

you know ? sometimes , i just got the urge to just run towards you and hug you tightly whenever i see you . you've no idea how happy i am to see you . but i don't know ? maybe it's my pride or something , i can't seem to do what i wish . as in i can't seem to be able to show the things that i want to express myself with , towards you . example , i just want to hug you whenever i feel like . well , actually i love hugs a lot , hehehehs . i guess it's because i just want to show you the strong side of me to you huh ? guess so .

it's one plus am , and i dont feel like sleeping . had a very broing day and have no desire to go to school in a few hours time . seriously , i've no big problems with teachers . but if the teachers want to have problems with me , then bring it on . i'll have the game with you . whatever . by telling me you're gonna report on me would scare me , missy , try harder . it's pretty obvious how much you dislike me . and congrats , same goes to me . another thing . if i've a million chances to skip your lessons , without regrets , will do the same thing for a million times .

it's been raining since afternoon . pratically , it's drizzling now . nice weather . okay , i can feel myself beating about the bush . anyway , it's been 3 days or 4 since you've been working till late . you even have to sleep in the office . not a good news to me though . you've been busy with work till we've even texted really little . i mean , frankly , i don't feel upset or angry about it . i've no idea why . guess i've already expected it thus so ? there are times where i've got the urge to text you whenever you stop replying me . mm .. more of spam texting you to make you reply me . but i know clearly it's annoying . i can just wait all day , just for your reply . is it likewise to you ? (: i just wish you'll have more breaks . more time to rest , more time to accompany me . greedy and selfish thinking , still not amazed with this thinking . hehehehs. there's still quite a number of stuffs that i want to accomplish with you . example : take photos together . watching horror movie together . going shopping together . spending a whole day and night with you . stay up the whole night on the phone . i don't know ? just tons of things . but all we lack of is time . really annoying about that . limited time . just grant me 24 hrs to spend with you . i guess it'll be more than enough .

i hate the hearing or knowing the people around me are having a bad time . as long as they're not the people i dislike , i'll bother about it . especially when i'm notified that they're having a bad relationship . damn , they look sweet and blissful . what in the world happened ? things just always happen this way . why ? pfft ..

you're just a memory at the back of my mind . i doubt you even realise how much you've did to me do you ? i don't know if you've done the same things to some other girls . if you did , whatever fucker . if you didn't , then why in the hell me ? why does it have to be me ? it's not like i've did somethings that hurt you . well , in fact i don't even know you . but guess what , i didn't regret from having that little yet pathetic memories with you . i didn't regret liking you for almost a month . i didn't regret looking through someone's window to notice you . and hell fuck die to all your empty sorries which are not sorry at all .

you're important . really really . seriously , very very , undescribeable important to me . that's why i chose to break up with you in the first place . you're always the guy that's gotten hurt here and there . taken and abandon . and i'm really sorry i'm one of them . i took you . because you're really what i've ever wanted . and really , you're just the great guy . and i'm merely someone , which i clearly know that , would hurt you sooner or later . and i know i'll lose you then . that's why , i abandoned you . just to let us stick as friends . just to let us quickly able to stand back on our feet to heal and wouldn't hurt that much . but i didn't realise , it doesn't go that way for you . and i'm really sorry . i'm starting to feel that i'm about to lose you , even as a friend . i'm sorry i look as if i'm making use of you to complain about how much my current boyf sucks at time . i'm sorry that i've always look for you only when i needed to complain . but you're really more than a complaining machine to me . you're not the one that i'll ever be with again . but still , you're really more important than someone i would want to spend the rest of my live with . it's the truth .

Let's GO

drown me

Let's PARTY

Forget ?

it's been 9 months i guess ? 9 months and still , why can't i forget ? That 8 months with you , sweet . Yet a unforgettable memories for me . The words you said , the gifts you gave , the promises we made , the places we've been , the things we did , the tragics that happened and the pain you gave , how can i forget ? 8 months , not too long , not too short . But everywhere we go , we're creating memories . Everything is just inced in my heart . When i see you , i can't help but remember everything again . I'm trying hard to forget . But it'll just pop out in my mind . Why did you do this ? Who's that girl ? Why did she came in ? Wasn't what I've given you enough ? Where's all your words and promises ? Are they empty ? Why ? Our 8 months meant nothing to you ? Remember the videos we had ? Remember the pictures we took ? Remember those piggybacks ? Remember 13 may ? How can you throw me aside ? How could you just leave me here ? And your happily with some other girl . Are we all that ? Or have i mistaken you ? Why not you tell me , huh ? Tell me , can't you ? Why did you left me with all this things to burden with ? And you expect me to face it alone ? I shouldn't have trusted you , shouldn't I ?

2NE1

when was the last time that i can have a long day at home . As in , i can spend my whole day at home with peace . i can't even remember . I've always been out lately . Why ? Cause i want to find a reason to escape from home . Or should i say the place i need to sleep . Everyday is just torturing . Being in this place is just , i don't know . Too tiring . I love my mom , my dad and my sis . I really do . But what they are doing , is just letting me want to give up everything , including them , and just leave this place .

When sis want something , she ask mom . Mom disagree , sis talk terms . When mom disagree and voice gets louder , sis gets pissed and starts shouting . Thus , causes quarrels . Sis decided to seek dad for help . Dad always gives way to sis because know she's stubborn . Though , disagree , but said let her do what she wants . Sis say she will take responsible . Dad gave in . Sis very proud , cause got dad's support . Try talk to mom , mom get even fucked up . Calls dad and complain . Dad don't know who to side . Sis thought dad lying to her . Shouted at dad . Dad starts calling ME -.- tells me talk to sis . But actually wants me to take his place in being hamburgered . Asked where is her , he says he don't want to come home already , because of all these . so ? Means , throw everything to me to settle . Thinking that he can get away with it and let me solve everything . Why ? Because i communicate better with him , and more importantly , i'm the oldest child at home . Cause i'm the older sister . Cause mom and sis is quarreling . Cause i spend more time with them . What ? Seriously ?

I need a breather , i need a drink .

well ...

i guess , it's indeed kind of time to turn things back to how it should have been ? Should have expected it though . seriously , am i faking it again ? Just to smile ? Whatever , seriously .

Anyway , N level's finally over . Begging and crossing my fingers that i'll get to sec 5 at the least . I'm really happy . But with the mood i have no , erm .. nevermind (:

so does this prove that , my boyf is an asshole ? LOL .

I think I've figured out why am i so persistent about this relationship . I do love T , truly . And i don't want break up with him . I've realised that , i really don't want to go through a second time of what i had with the A . I loved A with everything , and till now , though i don't regret , but i really don't wish for the same bad thing to happen again . At the least not the parents part . I don't want any of my parents or T's parents to come in between us . Even if it means to be a good thing , no , i don't want . It's just too much to handle . I'm afraid that i'll be thrown aside again . I'm afraid what I've done would go to waste again . I'm afraid that everything would just have to end . I want a good relationship more than anyone else .

Yay :D

exam's finally gonna be over €€! left with dnt and that's it . well , kind of thought of what to do after my n level already . gonna work on weekdays . with extra time , gonna go out with girlfs or boyf ((: mm .. planning to go on a diet with yuxin ?? salad diet sounds nice . hehehehs . mm .. then with my earned money , save some , give some to family members ? and then spend spend the rest . woots ! if baobei's gonna sponser me some i'm fine with it . wahahahaha ! just joking ((: can't wait for n levels to be finally over . i need those breaks . and hopefully by then , baobei ! you'd better have more time for me already ! haahhahs