#weheartit

hot hot !

gaah .. fever . ve'been a long time since i've gotten one . cause of it , i have no idea . but it really kills . anyway , it gave me a really good excuse to not being able to attend school today . well , a break for me then (: but , for some reason , i just want to go to school and use up all my energy . reached home , lie down and just fall asleep . i want to live that way . my way of escaping i guess ? still , i wish this break could be longer . at least it's a good excuse for me to have my time to think of other things i guess ? grrh .. the moment i think that tomorrow i might have test my brain starts to cramp together . god ....

I just learnt

I didn't give up . I can't let go . I won't forget . Falling down , crying , getting hurt , all these , are they the price for being in a relationship or more of loving someone ? Is the price that high ? I choose to leave . I did . I'm trying to adapt . You're clearly don't care about all these . Then why am i caring about it ? It's clearly not love . It's not even to that standard . We're just more than friends , lesser than couples . Let's just accept the fact , we're just playing around . You think that you've liked or even loved me . You're wrong . It's just a moment of folly , a moment of mistake . You don't . You just need someone to be there for you when there's nobody around .

自己生病了，睡醒了眼睛一张开，第一个想到的是你。
应为想告诉你要照顾好自己，不要生病了。
睡觉前，想问你累吗？吃了吗？想知道你安然无恙才能好好地睡着。
自己在怎么忍耐也没关系。
痛也没关系。
眼泪存起来也没有用，留了就算了。
痛不是一时的吗？
痛了就算了，会过去的 ...

Liar

You know what i'm afraid ? I'm afraid of being unable to resist and go back to you . I'm afraid of loving you more . I'm afraid i can't get over you . How can i ever ? God damn it , i miss you , a lot . Whatever you do , i still mind . But you don't seem to . The only place where i can just express freely of how i still feel towards you is here . I'm constantly going to FB to check your status to know what's going around you . Your latest status was if anyone wants to know what's gonna happen to you will have to text you . How can i ever ? I mind everything about you . I want you to text me . I want you to call me . I want you back . I want you back badly . But i know it's not the way out for both of us . You're clearly happier this way . I want you to be happy even if i'm the one suffering . I'll bear , i can take it . I'll be okay , i'm okay ..

it just feels extra cold without you ..

#sotrue

even now ..

Okay , i got to admit . I'm freaking bored . Life with you is although no where better but life without you , sucks even more , to the core ..

sexy ~

DAFUQQ

OMG !!!

Ohmygod ! It's FUGGLING CUTE !!!!!! <3

makes me dizzy

@.@

" You're entitled to your opnion . But it's really my desicion " - Joss Stone

naive

Ain't she cute ? what a photogenic babe :D

that moment

Every girl wants to wear her gown and walks down the path with her meant-to-be . So who's gonna be that "him" ?

#reality

dying inside

i choose to leave . i choose to let go . i choose to give up . why ? cause i'm tired . tired and hurt . i'm sick and tired of the he-don't-cherish-you fact . seriously , just forget it alright ? you started out wrongly . as the matter of fact , in reality , we're only together for a month , not 9 . and that only month which it feels like we're together , is the month - november , when you've quited your job and before you went in ns . other than that nothing . it's my first day living without you , truly . it's familiar yet strange . guess i'll just have to get use to it . and god damn it , it feels like i'm dying inside

the above , " no matter who says you aren't good enough , FUCK THEM . You are perfect in your own way " , that was what i thought . Everything you said to me , i believed in them . No matter what other people say , I didn't listen to them . You told me to believe in you . I did . You told me to trust you . I did . You don't like me slack with serene . I don't slack . You don't like to hear me complaining about stuff . I don't complain . You don't like i always go out . I go out lesser . You don't like i contact zhaoen . I contact him super less . You want me to think in your shoes . I just tolerate with all your excuses . You want me to wait for 2 more months . I waited . What else you want ? Become your dog , need or not ? You give me all the excuses . I accept . Then whatever i do also cannot . I said before , you don't control me . Mr , the guys i slack with , all i know them longer than you . I know you not even 1 year yet . I know them for 6-7 years already , you tell me don't slack with them . What's wrong with you ? If you're so insecure , then do something . Don't just tell me don't do this don't do that . Why care me lesser than any of them ? When i call you to come find me , you give me this and that excuse . Worst , it's when i need you . But when i call them , they would come down straight . So can you tell me , they're better or you . You told me you'll be better than yh . But ? You're no where better than him . Just because you saw a picture that i took with a guy and we look close beside each other , you get angry then don't want tell me you book out or what shit . Seriously ? Then me ? Even when i angry you also expect me to cool down and contact you . If you can't even do anything for me , why should i ? You don't bother or care , why should i ? Fuck it seriously .

if you were me ..

ever wondered why i'm still hanging around by your side ?

ever remembered to wish me a happy anniversary ?

ever wondered why i'm always asking to meet you and when you don't i get angry ?

ever remembered that i said one last time , no more ?

so do you ever , ever wondered why i choose you ?

even if it's just one question from the above that you can only answer , it's okay . i just need one answer , ever wondered any of these ? or you don't even bother ? despite so many negative obstacles and talkings and critisims , all the boundaries , i didn't leave . i'm still hanging here , being someone who just keeps waiting and tolerating . whether you've done anything just to step back for me , even if you did , yahs , as the matter of fact , i don't see any .

i'm still hanging around not because "break-up" is something i can't tell you . it's not that i promised i wouldn't leave so even if i've nothing for you anymore , i'll still keep the promise like a stupid idiot . i'm staying because i love you . and the last reason i'll ever use to break up with you is , i don't love you anymore . the female lead character of " great expectations " , just makes me think i'm like her . stupidly waiting for something that is worthless . all i need is for you to choose - continue ? or you want a break up ? i'm letting you choose . whichever you choose , i still love you . if you're leaving then i'll just have to find a way to get over it .

i don't need any presents or surprise . all i need is a " baby , happy anniverysary " . but ? not a single msg , call or wish . nothing . or should i say it in this way ? - you don't even remember our anniversary do you ?

meeting you is because i needed to see you . every bad happenings that i have or anything sad things that i have on the day , i want you to be there . but since you don't like to hear all my complains , then forget about it . then at the least can i see you ? seeing you , to me , has always been a way of making me forget all the unhappy stuff . at the least , for a moment i can forget about everything . but if meeting me when i ask to ( most importantly i'm always the one asking you meet me . excuse me , you're my boyf ) , and you reject ( which is totally ungentleman and bastard ) , then i'm like being unhappy the whole day . it's like when i need you , where are you ?

i'm always telling you , one last time . one more time and it's over . but i just let it pass . so did you realise that ?

why i choose you ? cause i trusted you'll be the guy you said you would . remembered what you said to me ? " i'll be better than him . confirm ! " and ? you're no where better , really .

waiting , tolerating ..

it's always been my nature that i wait and tolerate alot in relationships . and apparently , it's the most stupid thing , ever . just like today . i'm waiting , till the last sec , for you to call or msg me to wish me happy anniversary . it's 11.10 pm . 50 more mins . i'm waiting .. this whole relationship , i've never ever regretted . it was my choice . i choosed to tolerate everything . i gave in everything for this relationship . no regrets . even if the end results is tragic . all the tears only proves how much i've did .