today just before i'm gonna sleep , my wish for my dream is : " did he really 2-timed me ? " . no joke . i've asked him before he said no . i saw lies in his eyes and heard lies from his voice . his friends said he's with that girl . i choosed to listen to his friends and left , heartlessly . but what i'm thinking now is , did i misunderstand him ?
i had the urge to call zhaoen or contact his friends to help me ask him out to meet me face to face to answer me my doubts . i know if the people around knows if i asked him out just to find out my answer , i'll be killed . and zhaoen wouldn't help me . he may help , but he'll be super angry . but i really want so badly to know . the instance we broke up till now . how long has it been ? 1 year + ? i know i'll regret if i don't find out . but i want to ask him about it only when he's single . i don't want to seem as if i'm psycho-ing him or something to his girlf if he's attach . i just want to know it peacefully . but when i went to check on fb , he's attach . and secondly , that girl has been with him , if i'm not wrong , since last year . which is actually a few months already . that tells me he really love that girl . i'm glad just like i've wished , he's having a sweet and long relationship . a better one with a better girl . i'm really glad . but why it is that , it felt like a knife just drive through my heart ? i'm serious . that's how i'm feeling .
i know he's not the same . and maybe if all between us was really a misunderstanding , he didn't lied , he'll never forgive me . we'll just be strangers forever . he has freedom now . probably a relationship with both side parents agreed . a blessed relationship , long lasting sweet , better relationship . he might have forgotten me . he might have forgotten what we shared . me ? never . everywhere i go there'll be something , somewhere , somewhat , somehow , that'll link to him . he's the sweetest guy i've ever been with . he's the guy who understands me most that i've ever been . he's the guy who made me realise " i've fallen in love " . i don't need anything . i just need that answer . that's all . whether if he'll ever hate me , i'm fine with it . whether he lied or not , i deserve it .